HealthScapades Episode #2 | Ade The Snitch! | 13.01.2024
How dare he?! How dare Ade?!
I keep asking myself as I walk angrily towards his house. Ade has always been talkative and an exaggerator. But when did he add snitching to his retinue of activities?
No wonder people look at me with side-eyes when I walk through the streets these days. I had always wondered why, thinking it was my own imagination. Now, I know why. I’m a friend of a community snitch! Damn! I’m going to deal with this guy today sha.
I get to his door and bang on the door forcefully. He must have been startled by the ferocity of the knocking because he answers loudly, “Who is there?”
“Open the door abeg!” I reply between clenched teeth. I am praying for restraints now.
“Teewhy?” He replies inquiringly, obviously wondering what could have warranted my actions. He opens the door, sees my face and steps back, now taken aback by my facial expression. “Wetin happen?”
“So you be community informant,” I said immediately. “Community informant, since when? How dare you? Which kain person you be wey you get mind to dey snitch on us all?” I am shooting questions at him with the speed of lightning.
At first, he appears confused as he keeps mouthing the word “Community informant’ audibly. After a few seconds of silence, his eyes lit up. Then he bursts out laughing, laughing till tears start running down his face and holding me for support. All these while I am still looking at him like I should slap some senses into him. But I decide to wait for him to stop though.
“Guy,” he says in-between catching his breath, “I no be snitch o. I be community informant wey dey report people wey get some kain sickness to health workers for health centres.”
He pauses, waiting for me to catch on what he just said. I try to remember the meaning of what he said, but I am still confused.
“So no be say you dey tell on people?” I ask.
“I dey tell on people o, but na people wey sick I dey report,” he repeats. “E get some important diseases of public health importance wey those of us wey be community informants suppose dey report so that dem no go spread to more people.”
“We?” I ask. “So una plenty?”
“Yes na. At the moment, we be ten for this ward. Na ten ten dem dey select for every ward for all local governments, but you fit join sha. Na voluntary work”.
“Dem dey pay?” I blurt out without hesitation.
Ade starts laughing again. I know he is laughing at me for asking about money, but I don’t care. In this present economy, anything that pays cash is welcome.
“No, they don’t pay.” Ade says. “Like I said, na voluntary work, and a form of community service. There can be reward along the line o, but na to primarily safeguard the health of our community.”
I feel him studying me as I frown, looking away, trying to decide. I have obviously calmed down. Community informant work is truly a snitch work, but at least it is to help the community. Not that bad, even if there is no payment.
“Ehn, oya I want to join. Wetin I go do…?”
“Make we go that health centre wey dey for the back of the mosque. I go just introduce you to the Focal wey dey there. Na im we go dey report these sickness to”, Ade says.
“Wetin Focal mean…?” I ask, now interested.
Ade starts laughing again as he puts on his sandals. He is subtly having fun at my expense now.
“Be calming down. I go teach you all our languages. Make we dey go. Focal means Surveillance Focal Person. Na she we dey report to for this ward, and she too go report to the DSNO. Shey make I tell you the meaning of DSNO too?” He asks, on the verge of laughing.
I frown at him as he starts openly laughing and dragging me along the road. He is clearly making fun of me. I silently promise myself that I will retaliate soon, as I grumble “Yes” to his question. Of course I want to know the meaning of DSNO.
The End.